It is very much context dependant. People want to say it does not matter, and in our default context, it theoretically does not. There are certain contexts where use of outdated patriarchal norms of the past will garner a response. In a sense it must matter that it does not matter.

My mind is drawn to the old adage, “hate is not the opposite of love; indifference is. For to hate is to still care in common with those that love.”

If you use gender incorrectly here, or, in a broader context, act like an ass about gender you are likely to garner a reaction.

There was a post here in the last few weeks about someone on reddit that posted about a guy giving his partner an old iPod or some device like that as part of a birthday gift with other things, and getting eviscerated for the idea. Then after reversing the gender roles, under the same premise, the opposite reaction was the outcome. I don’t think we are the same demographic here, but I also imagine we might display a similar objective bias in honest and objective aggregate.

So does it matter here, IMO, we’d like to think it does not, but we are biased like any group. We are generally aware and appreciative of our diverse community members and tend to prefer gender neutrality when possible, like assuming they/them is generally good decorum and practiced here. When an anthropomorphic gender assignment is appropriate, the cool kids default female.

At least that is the lay of the land abstracted as I see it when one speaks the unspeakable.