5 Summer Activities Sure to Ruin Your Lawn Summer is here, and that means one thing: it’s time to watch in horror as your lawn turns into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Why fight it? Embrace the inevitable chaos with these five activities guaranteed to obliterate that golf course-caliber lawn you’ve been working years on. You might as well lay down wood chips and call it a day, because those little savages will destroy it by fall one way or another.
1. Slip and Slide Ah, the slip and slide – the classic summer activity that promises fun, laughter, and a lawn that looks like it hosted a mud-wrestling tournament. After a few hours of kids hurling themselves down a plastic sheet at breakneck speed, your once-lush grass will be nothing more than a distant memory. The combination of water and trampling is sure to create a muddy disaster zone. Just remember, mud is nature’s way of saying, “You never really liked grass that much anyway.”
Read the rest of the satire news article here at TattletaleTimes.com
They must’ve ran out of ideas by bonfire. Most of the ones I’ve been around are generally built with a wide circle, and/or slightly below ground. Looks nice, and a fire every once in awhile won’t destroy your lawn.
I wrote bonfire from personal experience! our house has a built-in firepit when we moved in and it doesn’t have a brick ring around so if we have a big enough fire it kills the grass around it. Someone in the comment section mentioned water balloons which is a good one i missed when writing this.
Didn’t realize you were the author! Water balloons are a good one, the article in general was a fun read. The bonfire one just jumped out at me a bit. You should get a ring, or dig it out 6in to a foot! It looks wonderful, and makes cleaning the ash easier as well.
yeah for sure, it’s on the long list of DIY home improvements that I’ll get to someday. thanks for reading!
Ah, slip and slide. The product my family only had for one summer before it went away forever.
Because neighbors borrowed it, refused to watch their shitty kids, one of the kids broke her wrist because of this, and then they tried to sue us.
It didn’t work, but I was so happy when that family left.
What a neighborly thing to do, sue your neighbors for kids being kids. My 5 year old got 5 stitches in his eyebrow a few weeks ago at a friend’s house. Kids do stupid shit, that’s just the way it is!
They forgot water balloons! impossible to pick up all of them
I came across these sponges inside a poly-cotton sort of covering, called Water Grenades. They work great, and are reusable. Just dunk them in the refill bucket, and throw at someone. !Splash! And repeat.
Something like this: https://www.vat19.com/item/reusable-water-bombs or these: https://www.etsy.com/market/reusable_water_bombs
i like the idea of the crochet ones. sent that to my crocheting wife to give it a shot, thanks!
I just learned of them in the process of that search. We have a momentous water battle coming up at a campout, beginning of next month. Super excited!!
Top things americans are obsessed with:
- “Freedom”
- Their flag
- Their lawn
Edit: somewhere between 1. and 2.: Guns
You forgot guns!
Ooohh maaa gaawd
