I don’t like the term sexual predator. It turns out most of them are just doing dumb (but obviously hurtful) shit to anyone they can find that’s weaker than them because they have no other ways of feeling empowered and connecting with other human beings. Actual interactions with them in a controlled environment where I’m holding all the cards are just laughably sad.

They keep trying the same petty shit, mostly to my younger female nursing assistants who are smaller and less likely to shut them down quickly (there’s a reason they often go after children). Fortunately a) I’m watching and b) all of my nursing assistants know I will drop the fucking hammer in a second I hear the patient is trying to perpetrate some silliness, especially since I usually already know from the patient history.

Predator makes them look a lot more intimidating than can accurately describe such sad little people, so I call them “sex pests.”