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@tallghost.bsky.social
We fired the art department and replaced them with an orb. It hovers about four feet off the ground and follows us around the office. Sometimes it feels like it’s waiting for something. Sometimes it follows you home. Jim says it told him to dig into the dirt. It will save the company twelve dollars.
This is a manager. They hired a manager.
the orb floats around repeating, “time to lean, time to clean”
I haven’t worked fast food for decades but this fucking triggered me.
You sound delicious
PUT ME IN YOUR MOUTH
Way ahead of you, buddy ;)
It’s on the fast track for senior manager if it keeps this up!
If I could hover 4 feet off the ground + maintain an air of vague expectation, I think I could write my own meal ticket.
Then how is it saving money?
Because it’s salary is $12 less than the entire art department.
I was trying to joke that adding a manager wouldn’t save money, but touchè.
Las Vegas saw this tweet and thought “yes a giant ominous sphere in the middle of the city is a great idea… but what if we need someway to advertise on it”
That orb is going places. If the orb says dig, you dig. In a few years it’ll be in a corner office, and you want that orb to remember you well.
That’s some Nightvale shit.
Oh fuck, Jim is heading towards the dog park with a shovel
We shall consult the orb. The orb knows all.
The orb says you are a horrible person. We weren’t even testing for that.
The orb has spoken. The orb is correct.
The orb says you are, somehow, rounder then it.
Than*
-The orb
:(
-not the orb
It’s okay, buddy. It happens to the best of us.
-Also not the orb
“Outlook not so good”
I already knew that–it’s why I use Thunderbird instead!
I mean, the “car in space” thing already happened so this is the logical next step.
That’s a biblically correct angel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT1A7iD4wew
I didn’t know The Buried had an orb
