A federal judge has unsealed hundreds of documents naming victims and con-conspirators in the trial of deceased sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. The Onion obtained a copy of these documents. Here, in pursuit of transparency and journalistic forthrightness, we present the names for the public’s enlightenment.
Did you scroll through the article and read the people they put on it? It’s the saddest attempt at comedy and not what I know the onion to do. (Believable yet funny news articles)