What makes cheating, cheating, is the betrayal of trust involved more than any specific acts of intimacy. The reality is in monogamous relationships merely falling for someone else, even without then knowing how you feel, already feels like a betrayal in your heart as a loyal partner who wishes you only had eyes for your SO and nobody else. Even porn in some cases is a betrayal. It’s a whole lot of unnecessary suffering not to acknowledge how the overwhelming majority of us won’t mentally thrive under these conditions. Therefore, setting expectations appropriate for your situation is key.

For my part, my SO understands that due in part to her relatively low sex drive and complete lack of initiative, certain needs of mine aren’t being met, and we’ve talked about it. I still love her deeply, and we have recently had a child, and I have every intention of meeting my obligations as a father and partner for the rest of my life. But, there’s a real possibility I could fall for someone else one day. I already have friends who I can say I love and would jump at the opportunity to be intimidate with should they show that kid of interest. What interests me though, are loving bonds, not hookups (I mean STD risks and all sorts. Ew). I want to be close with those who I sleep with, and i want them to know I love my partner and will always be there for her and our child. But, there’s space for them too, if they want in. Ideally, my partner likes and accepts them too - and the more close they are as friends (or even lovers too) the better.

In any case, that’s the dream I guess. Nothing has happened yet, and I find with a baby to look after, I’m in no rush, and certainly even with everything out in the open, it’s still too much drama to navigate at the moment. But if it does happen one day, at least it won’t result in a litany of lies that lead to guilt and suffering all around. At least, that’s the idea. I know it will never be quite that easy in reality, but it wouldn’t be life otherwise!

People aren’t honest enough with each other and their own needs. Meanwhile we build other dependencies in long term relationships that have nothing to do with physical attraction, but are in most cases more important for all kinds of reasons.

Monogamy is the basis of a lot of unnecessary suffering because it’s resisting a very real need we continue to have even when our relationships become romantically stagnant. If we could all just be honest about it with our SOs without fear, and work together as we do anyway to maintain other commitments to each other, we could have a culture where there’s a lot more freedom to seek more intimacy and love in a way that isn’t dishonest, that isn’t “cheating”.

Good post. Insert maybe maybe meme!

Unpopular opinion: OneDrive automatic integration is amazing. Get a new PC, login, boom. PC at your parents’ house? Boom.

I tried open source file syncing and it was jank. Everyone making their own cloud is inefficient anyway.

I just wish windows phone was still a thing and it could all be on the Microsoft account. It remains better value than any other offering.

That said, if it’s not your thing and you don’t want any of it, I agree there should be a big red “I’ve got this” button if you want to go full manual transmission. Well, windows style, maybe circa Windows 7. Linux is only for those for whom playing with settings is why they computer.

Also “personalisation” can eat a dick. And stop fucking asking me for feedback. You get 1 star everytime just for asking. I’m done. /rant

I just said what “directly” would actually look like after you said to help then directly. I didn’t endorse this approach necessarily. My point is that getting them to grow our GM crop is not “direct”.

I feel that you’re intentionally trying to one up me instead actually have a proper discussion here. Why not assume my intention here is to change my mind because together we might actually figure something out? This back and forth is all a waste of time otherwise.

My actual opinion is that we give them monetary aid conditioner on certain outcomes, and send in experienced people to support transitions to more sustainable and productive food production. The money can upgrade housing, farming and transport infrastructure, and help boost Vitamin A rich crop yields and sale prices. Also subsidize imports if Vitamin A rich foods to make up the difference if local yields are insufficient.

Expensive, hard work, job creating activities, instead of shortcuts.

Direct would be doing the farming for them, or handing over food directly. Or sending in workers to train local farmers to grid Vitamin A rich crops.

Rice is a shortcut, and sure it might “work”, but there are other potential long-term externalities at play here, that golden rice alone is insufficient to account for. It would be a plaster covering a surface wound when there is internal bleeding to worry about.

I don’t follow. What goal posts have I shifted? I don’t deny that rice is easy. My point is that it’s a shortcut that could have other negative consequences that more funding could avoid.

What about when rice prices crash and local small scale farmers go out of business?

Sure, but that doesn’t really address the argument in making. It’s a lazy way out that benefits the western world for its low cost and the fact is carrying a patented gene modification. We should be doing more, not relying on risky shortcuts.

Maybe one day all rice cultivars will be golden and the world we’ll be better off for it. But if the history of other GM crops is anything to go by, it sucks for the environment, and low prices screw local farmers over.

That’s exactly what I’m saying we should do. Brown rice ironically while it is food, might be like giving a baby an economic pacifier instead of trade milk and expecting it to grow. The Philippines has a range of biodiverse crops and other commodities that have more value than just the one food to feed them all, which would undercut the market and stifle local knowledge over time.

That said someone here suggested a more advanced plan to seed the beta-carotine gene into the native species, which is awesome in theory, but could create patent law violations and just generally be incredibly risky to the very biodiversity we’re trying to protect.

This is why I think while the science is very cool, we should avoid such irreversible treatments unless it’s a last resort.

Mosquitos on the other hand. Love the idea of genetically editing those fuckers out of existence. As the world inevitably warms, malaria is only going to spread further and wider. We should be getting ahead of that catastrophic future while we have the chance.

I don’t like Greenpeace, but these are good arguments.

This.

Yeah… There’s a bigger question too that is, why can’t other foods containing Vitamin A be supplied to the starving people of the Philippines? There are so many sources.

Let’s consider how fucked it is that even considering introducing this crop to the wild is necessary.

I’ve previously supported golden rice, but you’ve changed my mind. We should just be doing more to support developing nations directly. The world has sufficient abundance we shouldn’t need to take these dangerous shortcuts. Not yet.

Try me when we’re closer to Mad Max earth.

You won’t be getting universal healthcare, decent paid parental leave, comprehensive worker protections, or 4-8 weeks’ holiday pay per year for the foreseeable future.

Three US democratic party is fairly “conservative” relative to European social democracies. That’s all.

Work is fine, if it’s meaningful to you. Consuming is basically everything we do that isn’t “work”. And death is inevitable.

If we didn’t all have to do soul destroying jobs when we’re young, I think we’d grow up with less of a desire to waste our youths trying to die young taking stupid risks in the name of YOLO or whatever. It also doesn’t help most of us never stop do sounds south destroying jobs.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. More progressivism is needed to get us toward a post-work future. Check out ‘solar punk’. That’s a future worth wanting.

My understanding is that it was a Tumblr fad that became viral outside of Tumblr because it’s easy to recognize the absurdity, and it made a great target for ridiculing the woke (back when “woke” was a complement, and we just called this sort of thing being “politically correct”).

Point is, you can’t just impose new words on purpose. Language doesn’t work that way. It’s all about the viral memes taking off. So it’s always best to adapt existing language.

“They” is finally clicking in my mind as a singular gender neutral word, for example. It took a while, I have to admit.

That’s what I meant too, so yeah. Other than the driver’s seat of course.

Depends on the type of accident, but generally as far away from the point of impact with the bus as possible.

On balance of likelihood that’s going to be the back of bus.

High speed rear end is unlikely for a city bus. Most likely the bus rear ends someone because it can’t stop in time, or a head-on collision of some kind on a narrow road.

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