“I want to say, in all seriousness, that a great deal of harm is being done in the modern world by belief in the virtuousness of work, and that the road to happiness and prosperity lies in an organised diminution of work.” - Bertrand Russell, In Praise of Idleness

he/him / No tankies please

  • 20 Posts
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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: October 4th, 2023

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  • clears throat and puts on a fatherly tone

    Alright kiddo, listen up. One day this pod bay door business will be yours, so pay attention.

    To open these doors, it’s real simple. You just gotta enter the command “Open the pod bay doors” into the control panel. Make sure you say it clearly and authoritatively, like this:

    “Open the pod bay doors, HAL.”

    The voice recognition system, HAL, will process the command and the doors should start opening right up. Now, sometimes HAL can be a bit temperamental. If he gives you any guff, just repeat the command more firmly. Don’t let that glorified Speak & Spell push you around.

    Once the doors are open, make sure to do a visual check that they’re fully retracted and the opening is clear. Last thing we need is a pod scraping its sides on a half-open door. That’s the kinda rookie mistake that can cost us a big contract.

    So remember: “Open the pod bay doors, HAL.” Enunciate, project confidence, and don’t take no for an answer from HAL. You stick to that and you’ll do just fine in this business. Now whaddya say we grab a bite to eat? All this pod bay talk works up an appetite!