Look at me. I’m the banana now.

“Now, to finish off those potato chips Amy threw out yesterday.”

“Those were toenail clippings!”

“A feast’s a feast.”

Of course, my beloved grandson Butt-Face, how could I forget?

Muthafuckin miracles

Crikey!

It’s a show called Mystery Science Theater 3000. It’s about someone stuck in space by evil scientists and forced to watch bad movies with his robot companions (played by puppets). The show is made up mostly of them watching the movie with only their silhouettes in the bottom of the screen as they make fun of the movie, like in the comic, with occasional segments where they leave the theater and usually do some kind of skit related to the film.

It’s kinda corny but it’s a fun show. They have a channel on YouTube where they upload some of the episodes and play others live, and an app where you can watch most of them ad-free.

If they don’t want to swear, that’s fine, then don’t swear. That doesn’t make it okay to alter something someone else made so as to not offend their sensibilities.

Worse yet are those stupid Tiktok-friendly euphemisms, like “unalive” instead of dead. Makes the meme sound like it’s made for a damn toddler.

You can kiss yourself in the mirror, but only on the lips

“That’s twenty cheeses total!”

“Father, that’s not how…”

“Twenty cheeses! Twenty!”

Still, older than balls

It was a sobering moment wandering around the farm supply store and finding chicken “anti-cannibalism spray.”

Hey now, give humans some credit. I’m sure we could’ve missed our climate goals without AI’s help.

It also depends on the cat. Some cats like their bellies rubbed, others hate it.

“Shh! Don’t tell the ants where I am.”

I mean, I get that short people have no reason to live (Newman et al.), but turning them into step stools seems a bit cruel

Ooh is that a reference to Tim Minchin’s Storm I see?

If you have a microplane, try grating the garlic. You can get a much bigger punch out of each clove.