Protip: use the Jenny phone number for any loyalty programs you don’t want to sign up for. I use 512-867-5309 as the alt ID and it works every time.

Schrödinger‘s loan.

The problem with schemes like this is that they imagine a world where the now orphaned kid gets adopted into a loving Hallmark movie home. The reality is that they will end up in foster care where the abuse and neglect will continue, just at the hands of strangers. Or mom will shack up with the next abuser and the dad will have no ability to intervene. Better to leave them with their biological parent who, while a complete scumbag, at least has genetic similarity to hopefully check their worst excesses.

TL;DR - fix the social safety net instead of dumb feel good laws like this one.

Who cares what he thinks? He’s famous for mastering the art of spiral throwing a ball, which is a skill perfected by cavemen using spears to hunt with. He is no smarter or more educated than those cavemen were. In fact way less so due to the brain damage.

United Airlines says their shitty choice of vendor cost them $200M - FTFY

Scientists: we can’t understand why global warming is so much worse than our models predicted!!

Fusion. I think it’s our only hope of making it through climate change without massive losses.

Yep that one is true as well. Paul is a vegetarian and didn’t want a song about non vegetarian food. He didn’t have a problem with parody in general, just that specific instance. Geez, I know way too much trivia about Weird Al :)

Edit: the song was created just never released.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken_Pot_Pie

That he does. The only snafu he had was with Coolio for Gangster’s Paradise. Apparently the label said yes but didn’t actually check with Coolio and he wasn’t happy about it. Weird Al apologized for the mixup and they made peace with it later. Weird Al said the only star that has consistently turned him down was Prince, who didn’t find the whole parody thing funny.

Nirvana famously said they knew they had made it when Weird Al did a parody of Smells Like Teen Spirit.

I remember XKCD #1. I just did the math in my head and it’s been ~20 years. Fuck I’m old.

Don’t they remember what happened last civil war?

deleted by creator

Hillary was the only candidate unlikeable enough to lose to Trump. She should stick that in her pipe and smoke it.

After the bandaids are applied he’s taking everyone to McDonalds for hot fudge sundaes.

That’s the cool uncle who smokes weed.

Hanlon’s razor is reversed for sociopaths.

Nice burn:

• “Donald Trump is facing 91 felony charges. If Republicans want to name something after him, I’d suggest they find a federal prison,” said Rep. Gerry Connolly, a Democrat who represents part of Dulles.