PaulSmackage [he/him, comrade/them]

Bored music teacher in 2200: “and here children, we find the most important contributions to late 20th centure music: a phonograph of Depeche Mode’s Violator.”

Chapo got banned, checked out chapo.chat, found the “under construction” page with what i think was “call me maybe” as a chiptune playing, and joined a little while after.

Vice News is shutting down

I love a good lentil. Did you know that brake fluid gives car paint a nice sheen? Make sure to give them a nice coat to make look really good.

Crushing up ceramic and flicking them at car windows makes me light up with joy, any other fun things to do?

The “her” in question:

Same, but it’s a Goofy impression.

My wife saw a charcuterie board and under her breath said “charcussy”. I have been repeating that basically every day to her since.

Your website will rot on the vine.

Destroy keyless ignition, return to dangly keys.

And depending on what kind of update this is, it’s a 15 minute reprogram.

That note at the beginning lmao.

“NONONO, WE DON’T ACTUALLY MEAN THE THINGS WE PUBLISHED, THAT’S RUSSIAN DISINFORMATION”

And a hotdog is a type of sandwich.

It’s even easier than that

They also invented the landmine, which you should go and frolick in a field of them.

The toothbrush, which you should use more often.

Every New Year’s i play the same two songs around midnight: This Year by The Mountain Goats and The Ice of Boston by The Dismemberment Plan. Both help me get through those turn of the year moods.