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“Oh honey, you’re home! How was your day?”

“Terrible.”

“Oh no! Is something wrong?”

“Well, I was really hangry, and I guess this random stranger on the Funny community was too, and we got into an argument.”

“Oh no, what was it about?”

“Mick Jagger’s pants.”

“…”

“We also talked about what I’ll be wearing when I’m 70. We were unable to come to an agreement.”

“…”

“I just need some time.”

Edit: Guess this didn’t go over well! Oh well, I tried. It’s just a silly thing to argue about though. Guess everyone is hangry today.

Have you seen Elon? If there was such a thing as weight loss magic you know he would have used it.

Are you dealing with the ADHD meds shortage in the US too? I’m hoping it gets sorted out before I get fired.

When I learned some people can’t watch something with subtitles I was so confused, because ADHD auditory processing issues mean I really can’t hear without subtitles. If I don’t have subtitles on my mind wanders off without me and I have to keep rewinding because I missed something. I remember buying a ticket to Pan’s Labyrinth in theatres a long time ago and being baffled when the person in the ticket booth warned me that it had subtitles. Took waaaay too long for me to get diagnosed.

Either the melted cat in the donut car, or the puddle of sloths in the red one.

And they weren’t just going for the empty picture because it was new and interesting: Another group of bees trained to always choose the larger number tended to pick the nonzero image in this test.

“What the fuck is Pokémon?” -a real quote by Danny Devito

UberEats still allows it, I believe. But people abuse that feature by “tip baiting” someone to take their order, then removing the tip after the driver has already spent the time, gas, and effort to deliver it. The driver could spend an hour on the order and only make $2.50 during that time, minus the cost of gas. Happens a lot with orders that are several miles away from the restaurant especially, because no one wants to pay enough to make the trip worth it for the driver.

As a former dasher myself, dashers are expecting that because it needs to be worth the time, cost of gas, and wear and tear on their car to even do the order.

Doordash only pays around $2.50 per order. If it’s a really bad one (long distance, a slow restaurant that takes up a lot of time, long driving distance) DoorDash might add a dollar or two to get someone to take it. If your food is cold, it’s probably because no one wanted to take your order because it wasn’t worth it, so you have to wait until a driver who doesn’t understand that they’re spending more money than they’re making takes a bad order. Sometimes the restaurant is slow or says an order is ready when it isn’t. The “tip” is pretty much the whole pay for the order. And if the tip is really good, sometimes DoorDash takes part of it without telling anyone.

Also, DoorDash doesn’t always show you the whole tip amount. There’s a note that says “the actual tip may be higher.” Usually it’s not, but they leave that “maybe” in there to bait you into acceptimg orders that cost more to deliver than you earn.

There are definitely some shitty drivers. But a lot of people don’t have a choice but to do gig jobs. People with disabilities who need to have flexible schedules because they don’t qualify for disability assistance and they can’t commit to a schedule because of random symptom flare ups. People with criminal records. People with social anxiety. Minorities. People learning English.

DoorDash is to blame here, not the drivers. They need to call it something other than a “tip.” The suggested “tip” amount should be based on the driving distance, not a percentage of the order cost. And they should pay drivers more out of the “service fees” they get for sitting back doing nothing and letting the app print money for them.

Let’s blame the right people here.

Hmm.

I do not.

I unfortunately live in Florida. Florida Power and Light took over, and everyone hates it. People are getting power bills for thousands of dollars. They sent out a newsletter right after the takeover saying that prices would go up temporarily and then be lower than they were before. Still waiting for that price drop. I try to tell the MAGAs that FPL is one of DeSantis’s major campaign contributors, but the most reasonable reply I got is “well it would probably be even worse if the democrats were doing it.” I’m so tired of everything.

There’s nothing in it, it’s just a case for holding contact lenses apparently.

That extra “s” is making this comment NSFW in a way that I don’t think you intended.

I support this but only if all the Seans agree that “Sean” rhymes with “bean” from now on.

Summary:

The Florida State Surgeon General, Dr. Joseph A. Ladapo, has urged a pause in the use of Pfizer and Moderna COVID-19 mRNA vaccines, citing concerns about nucleic acid contaminants. In a letter to the FDA and CDC, he specifically pointed to the presence of Simian Virus 40 (SV40) promoter/enhancer DNA in these vaccines, raising worries about potential risks associated with DNA integration into human cells. Dr. Ladapo emphasized that the FDA has not provided evidence of conducting assessments on these risks, as recommended in their own 2007 guidelines. He underscores the unique and heightened risk of DNA integration, stating that if not assessed, mRNA COVID-19 vaccines may not be suitable for human use. The Surgeon General encourages healthcare providers to prioritize non-mRNA COVID-19 vaccines and treatment. Dr. Ladapo commits to ongoing research assessment, emphasizing transparency and scientific integrity in providing updates to the public.

Fun fact: When I briefly worked in a funeral home, I learned that dead people just chilling on a table will sometimes look like they’re breathing. I’m not talking about actual movement, like fluids settling in the body or anything like that. It’s a sort of optical illusion. I guess the brain is used to seeing people breathing so it fills in the blanks. I experienced this illusion myself and so did others working there.