Sounds like she saved you a lot of trouble, lol

Congratulations this is the best (worst) one yet

I know you’re just using the same title as the Reddit post, but “Muslim-American” is probably the silliest hyphenism I’ve ever seen

“Dongles per snongle” sounds like a British person measuring the gender ratio at their local pub

There’s a slim but real chance that Mitch McConnell drops dead on live television in the near future and I refuse to miss it

But during the summer it’s much too warm for the fuzzy socks and the heating blanket. I want it to get super cold outside so I can make it warm again.

Plus, winter clothes are so much cozier.

Cock-and-ball sink

Wow… that was quite the ride. You could’ve given me all day to guess how this would be related to the post and I wouldn’t have gotten it lmao

Yeah, RIP that dude but I’m built different

Make sure to thoroughly check your child’s candy this Halloween. There are a lot of sickos out there putting pure, uncut heroin in their candy and just pretending it’s laced with fentanyl.

heck

Depression jokes are OUT.

Hyperbolic overconfidence jokes are IN.

Sadness CANNOT overtake you anymore. You are simply TOO POWERFUL and TOO SEXY.

or a Serb

Hey guys I found one

The company I work at is named kinda like this. I don’t want to give the exact name, but let’s say that if I was an engineer, I’d work at “The Engineering Company.”

It makes me sound like a super bad liar whenever I tell people my job, lol

I think it’s foamy milk for a latte

The tear ducts point themselves toward the harmful content for more effective weeping

Put a spooky skeleton under that truck and then we can start talking

Maybe his grandson was a ‘bad guy with a gun,’ in which case the grandfather is actually a hero.

Perhaps the only good thing about living in Arizona is that I don’t have to deal with daylight savings time. We have too much daylight here as it is