sometimes people will really fuckin hurt you and you won’t ever get an apology

Basically any and all compliments make me feel like shit, it’s not a good quality of mine but its the truth

Before I transitioned being called handsome hurt, I didn’t want that. Since I transitioned I have been called beautiful and sexy. I still feel bad, I don’t believe them. It’s odd because… I can kinda see what they mean? Like I personally like how I look sooo much better now it’s insane, but from other people it feels like a lie. Or else it makes me feel like I’m just an object to them, like an exotic sex thing, not a person.

I work as a gpu/graphics programmer, and people say I’m smart and talented. I never believe it, ever. When I was young I did not do well in school, like special ed classes. That early life experience is still internalized. It’s why I push myself really hard at the detriment of my own health. I truly believe I am not a smart person despite recognizing why people think I am.

Last year I was diagnosed autistic with Persistent Demand Avoidance sub type. I have read online that PDA people often struggle with compliments. Its super fucked tbh, I can never feel good about any accomplishment, nothing is enough, and I feel unlovable.

Alcohol, I just dont like the taste

I smoke weed occasionally but even that I have been trying to cut out cus I abused it for years

That’s low key the charm of it. I use to only use reddit and it confused me too at first. I never used Twitter but on mastodon you can actually make friends with people. Friends who will discuss the topics you are interested in. I have queer friends on there and gamedev friend and math friends. We are interested in the same things, we boost posts that we all are interested in. Make general often vague looking posts because we know who will see it, like a long drawn out conversation. Its so much cozier than lemmy or reddit, here everyone is trying to correct each other or yell at each other or be the cleverest comment in the thread. On mastodon people are alot more interested in being authentic, thats been my experience of mastodon at least.

mastodon is fantastic and is honestly better than lemmy community wise.

Not being able to talk about capitalism in a tech community is like having a fishing community and not being able to talk about how the waters got shit in it.

Pop my knees

The Tootsie pop owl is their cousin and they both hate that guy, fuckin asshole

I duno to me it feels like the entire bunch has kinda become more interested in their own celebrity than making interesting science videos. The point when I decided to fall off was around the time Allen made that video about snake legs, it felt so lazy and half hearted, its like why am I watching this?

Smarties :3 tbh not a bad name for such a cutie 🥰

The safty 3rd crew have become lazy as hell too, i gave up on them

I could probably say the same about AI and crypto and mega yachts sure

But healthcare, housing, education, childcare, sustainable green energy, sustainable food production… All of them seem way more important than sending more junk into orbit.

The fact that you think these things are even remotely comparable is kinda part of the problem

Seriously how are space launches a priority right now when we are facing global ecological collapse

Yeah people don’t understand how bad the MH industry can be. Its why these things shouldn’t be gatekept, it should just be available under informed consent.

A thing that is really frustrating about a lot of health care providers is they insist on using outdated “best practice” blood levels for trans fem HRT which puts our estradiol levels significantly lower than cis women.

Im lucky that I have a dr in cali who is good and insists on me having proper estradiol levels but in the past they were significantly lower with other doctors. And I can absolutely tell the difference I feel so much better with my current levels and physically the effects are noticable as well.

Thats what my brother does, but he is a cis het man who works in construction as an electrician. He is very left leaning so he does try to challenge things where he can.

But I can’t do that. I am a trans woman and confrontation legitimately would put me in danger and it wouldn’t work anyways. People claim I am biased because I am in a group who is being targeted, its bullshit beyond belief but thats how people are.

Your understanding of the effects of immigration is childish.

it never is, the employees are salary

I was talking to them recently about a job and their pay is kinda low for the industry too