AngryDeuce

Prolly had to go return some videotapes…

“I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE, TO DONALD TRUMP, THE GREATEST PRESIDENT OF AMERICA…”

Yeah, I learned how to handle the frakkin toasters 20 years ago. Bring it.

I havent been afraiding of anything for almost 20 years thanks to him

Rumor is that Boston Dynamics is working on integrating this into one of those Dog Robots so that if it detects you shoplifting it can run you down and tear you to pieces right there in the cereal aisle

I’ve read that before, but I guess what strikes me as odd is how it wasn’t until I hit my 30s that I suddenly started shitting my brains out whenever I consumed more than a small glass of milk. I drank a lot of milk growing up…it was pretty much that or water much of the time, and even after I went off to college and stuff I still went through a gallon by myself every 3 or 4 days. Not even just milk but WHOLE milk…I didn’t switch to skim until my 20s when I moved in with my gf and she hated whole milk.

Anyways, after three decades of no issues whatsoever, and zero change in my habits, suddenly my body decided “NYET! NO MORE!!!” and my ability to properly digest lactose evaporated basically overnight. I didn’t even make the connection until I was traveling and wasn’t drinking any milk on my trip and didn’t have any problems, but then got nearly crippled the next morning after I had a big ol bowl of Captain Crunch before bed the night I got home.

The chipmunks were cute and didn’t hurt nothing (though their pre-dawn chittering was fuckin loud for how little they are, would wake us up even with the windows closed) but the squirrels were true assholes. We invested lord knows how much money into squirrel proof feeders and they would retaliate by eventually getting around the defenses and then knocking the shit down on the ground so they could empty our feeders in an afternoon. They would rip open the suet cages and just drag the whole block up into a tree and gorge themselves on it, and if they couldn’t open the cage they’d steal it in the cage lol

Even my wife, who is like a disney princess and wants to go find a clearing and sing and cuddle all the animals, would chuck hickory nut shells at them whenever she was out there so the birds got something.

I got flamed to oblivion when I said that it’s stunning how many people will gladly allow any old app onto their phone and have access to their data and scrape their life patterns in order to get like 2 for 1 fucking McDoubles or something.

Used to be when they wanted marketing data they paid professional firms to go out and perform scientific research and compensated people for participating in the study. Now they just throw a 50% off coupon at someone that they may or may not even use and people are like “Here’s all my location data for the last month as well as all my contacts and hell why not be able to use my camera and microphone too fuck it, 50% off a Happy Meal is just too much to pass up”

I’ve literally gotten up and left a restaurant before for not having menus. A QR code on a stand on the table that takes you to a fuckin PDF download…fuck outta here with that bullshit.

I didnt get lactose intolerance until I was in my 30s. So weird that my body just decided “Nah, Im good with dairy products” all on it’s own.

Really wish I would have discovered that earlier in life, before I developed my crippling cocoa pebbles addiction.

My last house bordered on a big undeveloped green space; we had , as we called them, ‘owl years’ and ‘bunny years’. You could see the pattern clear as day and predict it to a certain extent. If there were a ton of bunnies out in our yard at dusk in the spring, the following year was going to be an owl year, ostensibly because the eating was real good. If there were hardly any bunnies out there, the following year was almost definitely going to be a bunny year because the owls moved on or starved over the winter.

But there was no balance, that’s the weird thing. It was almost binary…but it wasn’t directly cyclical. We would know by early spring if this was going to be one of those “we need to put fencing around every single flower and plant in our garden” years, or if there were enough owls around to eat all the bunnies and give our garden a break, but it didn’t alternate in any pattern we could tell. We just had to wait and see how many bunnies we had out there at dusk. There were far more bunny years than owl years, but whereas in owl years you would hear them out there hooting all night long, in bunny years…nothing.

Tangentially…it was always a squirrel year. IDK if the owls didn’t care for squirrel or what but only the bunnies and the owls were locked into this relationship…the chipmunks and squirrels were unaffected. The owls just really only wanted bunnies I guess lol.

investors getting nervous?

Was playing a board game (I dont even remember which) and I had to give the name of a tropical place that starts with letter M that no one else would guess. I said Manila and this person I was playing with argued with me for 20 minutes (this was pre smartphone) that Manila isn’t tropical. I had to seriously find a book with a world map in it to show this person where the Philippines are located to prove that it is, indeed, tropical and honestly she was still unconvinced.

I played it off but I lost a lot of respect for my then girlfriend, who I was with, because I know she knew I was right but wouldn’t defend me because she didn’t want to take sides against her other friends. That was honestly the beginning of the end for us, that stupid fucking game night I didnt want to go to anyway lol

Ditto!

Well that and they permabanned my 14 year old, 1million karma account for making a post that insinuated Donald is a pedophile that some MAGA got all upset about and they rejected my appeal.

So…fuck em.

My favorite TSA experience was how my nephew was on a no fly list and we didnt find this out until we waited through two hours in line.

My nephews age at the time? 6 months old. The No Fly order was older than he was.

Lots of critical thinking going on with that lot, lemme tell you.