No, the FIRST monkey to write Shakespeare used a feather and ink.

It only took a couple hundred years after all those millions for them to be written on the typewriter.

Hot tip, friend, thank you!!

Life hack for OP and anyone else who ends up in this situation:

• Take boxed cake mix of your choosing.
• MOSTLY follow the package instructions. However:
• Add one extra egg (for example, if it calls for 2 eggs use 3)
• Substitute oil with 2x butter (for example, if the recipe asks for ⅓ cup oil use ⅔ cup melted butter.)
• Simple, easy, pro-tier cake.

Wow that’s a smug mug shot, holy moly.

That’s someone who does NOT think they just got caught saying the quiet part.

Noise Complaints Georg

What if I am too stupid to understand? Can you explain it to my dumb ass?

In the spirit of anarchy chess, I MAY need to find out. For science.

I can think of 1½ ways to do that that wouldn’t involve VBA.

They WOULD be a nightmare though.

I was reading the wiki for Tollund man yesterday, and I believe they actually took a fingerprint from him.

That’s pretty identifiable, I think

Rand Paul’s neighbor punched him in the face and apparently that was okay, too.

Unfortunately, not quite…

Rene Boucher, 58, was charged on Friday with assaulting a member of Congress, a felony, months after his sneak attack on Sen. Rand Paul in November, according to officials.

“Assaulting a member of Congress is an offense we take very seriously,” said Josh Minkler, the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Indiana. “Those who choose to commit such an act will be held accountable.”

Officials said Boucher signed a plea agreement, but no date or sentencing has been set. He faces up to 10 years in prison and a fine up to $250,000.

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OMG you’re right - the fact that this is a lot of for a part time job wasn’t lost on me, but a NON-COMPETE for a part-time job?? Like WTF else are you supposed to do?

Delusional??

This article is such a treasure trove. Thank you!

Bro new headcannon just dropped

You know when you get called out so hard you have to laugh your ass off? Like, give em the W, they earned it?

No, no, people will give up if it’s just one. You need to do two chests, marked #1 and #3. Film a #2 being buried also, but dig it up immediately.

Shirtposting

This deserves its own post

Pho!