Boyfriend of 2 years (best friend of 6) just told me he’s started seeing someone else. No discussion. Just ghosted me for a week and hit me with this news. Thought he was my soulmate, lmao. I feel like someone just ripped out my insides. Just turned 31 this year, this shit is not any easier than when I was a teenager.
How did you make it through that first night? The second? The third? Is it really just time? I feel like my body is too old to survive another heartbreak.
I feel like I’m unlovable and will be alone for the rest of my life, and I want to die.
I don’t know. When someone thinks they’re unlovable I can only imagine sociopathic killers, pedophiles, pro-slavists and that caliber of beings. If you are in the clear, if you are a regular guy with some kinks, you are probably too wrapped in your own head thinking that you are unlovable or will be alone for the rest of your life.
I’d say that even wanting to die during some periods of life is normal. But if these periods are too often and or too long, you need to find a therapist or a psychiatrist that really works for you. Depression is a terrible illness that could be maintaining people far from you or viceversa. I’m not saying this to hurt or to overwhelm you, but I met my wife just after she started seeing a psychiatrist and, the first time she went depressed there was a period when I just couldn’t bring myself home. Not that she’s the easiest personality even when she’s fine, but I do love her, and I’m sure she struggles to love me back sometimes.