• leafling@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    This was good. A good, complete story in a couple dozen lines. Character intro (not the brightest but has actually pulled off jobs before), setup with some dramatic irony (for other readers, not me: I didn’t know what the Elgin Marbles were), small action piece, followed by the drop.

    Nice stream of consciousness that really matched the kind of character who would do something like this and miss a major (but seemingly obvious) prep step along the way.

    I was originally going to ask why he feels like he’s so fucked, when it kind of just seems like they can go through with their escape plan with no payout, but I think that’s mostly on me. On a second read, he’s just upset that he and his boys were so dumb, and they’re not necessarily about to face any impending doom in the marble hall.