Russia has been accused of sending secret agents to break into and defecate in the homes of Finnish politicians.
It has emerged that at least 20 MPs have reported mysterious break-ins at their homes, with one saying he found faeces in his bathroom.
MP Ben Zyskowicz, senior MP for Finland’s ruling centre-Right National Coalition Party, believes the break-ins are part of a Russian plot to intimidate the country’s politicians.
‘It’s a way for the Russian intelligence service to show that people are being monitored, a way to create confusion or concerns,’ Mr Zyskowicz said.
Jussi Halla-aho, the speaker of the Finnish parliament, said he was launching an investigation into the ‘significant’ series of break-ins.
source (daily mail link)
This is how westerners believe russian intelligence operations work:
You had spent seven years training in a top-secret bunker beneath the Siberian permafrost, preparing to become the KGB’s most lethal weapon. You became an expert in assassination, deception and clandestine operations. You wrestled bears. You survived two months alone in the taiga on nothing but vodka and cigarettes. You mastered the dark, forbidden arts of Marxism-Leninism. At last, you were ready to serve the Motherland.
Your insertion into Finland had cost the lives of seven KGB agents, compromised spy networks in three countries, and brought the world to within thirty-seven minutes of nuclear holocaust. But the sacrifice was worth it. You were finally in position to strike a decisive blow against the enemies of Mother Russia.
Now you stand late at night on a deserted railway platform in Helsinki. Your handler emerges from the shadows: a one-armed veteran of Stalingrad, too stubborn to retire — or die. Without saying a word he hands you a manila envelope containing your first assignment. Inside is a sheet of paper with two sentences typed in Cyrillic:
Go poop in a politician’s toilet.
Do not flush.