we assume this needs to be spoilered
to get it out of the way:
so like, the argument we hear is that watching it supposedly makes ppl more likely to start watching real material (which is made by harming and exploiting children, and is obvsly bad because of that) or harming kids irl. supposedly there are studies that point to that being the case, and other studies that point to that not being the case. personally we dont rly buy that, because it just sounds like the same exact argument ppl used/use to say that “violent video games” or BDSM or whatever would do the same, or even like the old “weed is a gateway drug” stuff that also had a number of (extremely flawed) studies to “prove” it. what exactly makes this different from any of that other than just feeling more yucky and “wrong”? are there other arguments, are we missing something?
we dont personally watch that stuff tbc (tho if u already think were a filthy pedophile for even asking all of this theres no way were gonna get u to change ur mind lbr) but we dont want to base our feelings on this on just “that feels gross therefore its bad”, we all know where that logic leads, and were struggling to come up with a legitimate reason
Edit: ty for the replies everyone 
The vast majority of anime has some level of pedophilic loli fan service, even critically acclaimed ones loved by normies like Cowboy Bebop or Frieren. You are right there are varying degrees of it, Made in Abyss is not the same as Delicious in Dungeon after all, but imo it does promote a culture where this is tolerated and in general is just fucking weird. There should be more shame around it, and the studios producing this crap should be pressured a bit more to stop.
There was a guy in one of my random D&D online groups that would always wear Made in Abyss merchandise and post memes about it in the discord and his character was an underaged cat-girl. These types of people should be bullied because what they are doing is a wink-wink nod-nod between pedos. I left that group almost immediately.
Oh for sure I agree with you about the casual depictions, which is why I’ve stopped watching anime more and more as time goes on. But I know that some random co-worker of mine who watches 1 anime a year and likes it is probably not tuned into the broader context of that being an issue. And I think that changes the framing of the original question on what the difference is between what OP is describing and what is actually being compared.
I think if you look into it, there is easily a stronger connection between someone who watches Made in Abyss vs. Cowboy Bebop, plays God of War vs. Manhunter, etc, and the actual crimes being depicted. And that’s a more interesting conversation to me on what pervasive casual depictions of those things do to a society systemically, which is usually not what the anti-media lawyers are looking at. They’re looking at instances of kids losing Halo matches and choosing to kill their parents right after out of frustration.
Whenever someone brings up Made in Abyss, I ask “you mean the pedo anime?” and I know I’ve thrown off a fan or two with that one line.
Chinese Donghuas are a breath of fresh air, and they’re actually getting good recently. It’s very noticeable when you watch them that there’s something very different than anime despite the similar art styles and fantasy subject matter, and then you realize there’s no creepy loli fan service shit and no weird jokes about sexual assault and grabbing boobs and stuff. It’s just all taken much more seriously. It’s not a naked guilty pleasure power fantasy, it’s a more adult and serious drama where characters are realistic. I recommend Lord of the Mysteries + The Founder of Diabolism
That’s something I hadn’t really recognized until you just mentioned it. That Chinese media doesn’t have that stuff in it in pretty much anything I’ve seen. Last I looked, Chinese anime still wasn’t quite there in quality for both animation and writing, but I’ve never really checked out donghua, so I’m gonna look into those series. And maybe things have gotten better, like the video games that have been coming from their studios more recently.
To Be Hero X is fantastic in both, like if BNHA was better thought out, better animated, scored by Hiroyuki Sawano, and also had things like “themes” and “a point to make”.