Yes, it would apply equally, but I guess that I should rephrase: It is not that they find it hot that is the creepy part, it’s the fact that it is inherently fetishization of a sexuality that is not meant to involve them. Essentially, it feels kind of disrespectful and creepy for a guy to get off thinking about women who have decided to have sex with other women (I don’t mean decided to be lesbian, bc obvs that isn’t a choice), because he was never even in the demographic they wanted to have sex with, and by getting off to that, you are (at least a little) probobly imagining yourself having sex with them, and they would not even want that with you (at least in this instance). This same principle does apply to women getting off to gay men, it is just as disrespectful and fetishizing. Now, whether you agree with the thought process or not is completely up to you, but I personally find men fetishizing my sex that intentionally does not include them to be unwelcomed and creepy.
I think the thing to focus on is bothering real people. If a guy jacks it to Yuri, who gives a shit, they’re pictures. Same thing for girls and yaoi. Although I dislike it a bit, guys jacking to irl lesbians (like porn) doesn’t hurt anybody either, and vice versa. It’s when we get into that “harassment of real people” territory where you should be shamed. If you’re a guy being creepy to lesbians/queer people online/irl, you are a disgusting human being who is making others uncomfortable. Same for women who do the same to gay/queer people.
Basically, ethically gooning and having “toxic fetishes” is possible. As long as a foot fetishist doesn’t get hot and bothered around people at a waterpark, nor begs for feet pics from randos in their DMs, who the fuck am I to judge? It’s once you can’t control your fetish around unwilling participants that you get the horny bonk.
Yes, it would apply equally, but I guess that I should rephrase: It is not that they find it hot that is the creepy part, it’s the fact that it is inherently fetishization of a sexuality that is not meant to involve them. Essentially, it feels kind of disrespectful and creepy for a guy to get off thinking about women who have decided to have sex with other women (I don’t mean decided to be lesbian, bc obvs that isn’t a choice), because he was never even in the demographic they wanted to have sex with, and by getting off to that, you are (at least a little) probobly imagining yourself having sex with them, and they would not even want that with you (at least in this instance). This same principle does apply to women getting off to gay men, it is just as disrespectful and fetishizing. Now, whether you agree with the thought process or not is completely up to you, but I personally find men fetishizing my sex that intentionally does not include them to be unwelcomed and creepy.
I think the thing to focus on is bothering real people. If a guy jacks it to Yuri, who gives a shit, they’re pictures. Same thing for girls and yaoi. Although I dislike it a bit, guys jacking to irl lesbians (like porn) doesn’t hurt anybody either, and vice versa. It’s when we get into that “harassment of real people” territory where you should be shamed. If you’re a guy being creepy to lesbians/queer people online/irl, you are a disgusting human being who is making others uncomfortable. Same for women who do the same to gay/queer people.
Basically, ethically gooning and having “toxic fetishes” is possible. As long as a foot fetishist doesn’t get hot and bothered around people at a waterpark, nor begs for feet pics from randos in their DMs, who the fuck am I to judge? It’s once you can’t control your fetish around unwilling participants that you get the horny bonk.
You phrased it way better than I did and I have no disagreements. Cheers!