I think that arrogant, quasi-imperialistic has always been simmering in the background of the Federation, so I wasn’t too surprised to see them arguing over this - and, to be clear, the actual debate was always amongst the students. Vance was determined to convince the Klingons to accept asylum, but “compelling” them did not seem to be seriously on the table.

Esri Dax’s excellent critique of the Klingon Empire

That’s an interesting point. If I were to come up with a counter-argument, I suppose it would be that the Klingons’ readiness to do this ritualistic faux combat shows some growth - they’re willing to settle for performing their culture and feeling respected, rather than endure actual warfare. A smarter person than me could probably find parallels in many modern cultural practices.