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trashcan@sh.itjust.worksM to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.works · 2 months ago

Jesus Circles Earth Few Times So He Not First To Arrive To Judgment Day

theonion.com

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Jesus Circles Earth Few Times So He Not First To Arrive To Judgment Day

theonion.com

trashcan@sh.itjust.worksM to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.works · 2 months ago
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LOW EARTH ORBIT—Dreading a scenario in which He showed up early and was forced to make awkward small talk with mankind, Jesus Christ, the King of Kings, circled the earth a few times so He wouldn’t be the first to arrive for Judgment Day, heavenly sources confirmed Tuesday. “It’s still looking pretty quiet down there, so […]
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