No, that is a deal breaker for me.
I’m vegan (24 years) and my wife is not. That doesn’t bother me, but I couldn’t handle it if she was religious.
I find it so cool that you’ve been vegan for 24 years, as a younger vegan (7 years) I thank you for suffering through groceries with one brand of soy milk and maybe some tofu (if you’re lucky) so that we can live in this world were I have access to vegan fudgesicles at the local grocery store.
I’m curious though, because veganism has definitely been a point of contention in my past few relationships; how do you and your wife manage meals? Do you do separate meals, or is it more of a “she’s vegan at home” type situation?
For sure being vegan has gotten a lot easier since I started. At home, I’m very lucky that she does most of the cooking. Sometimes she eats what she makes for me, other times she makes herself something separate. I wash the dishes to my own standards, so I don’t worry about “contamination” except for a few things: cutting board, frying pan.
Being (or being with) a vegan can be super inconvenient at times. After all these years (married for 21), we are super well-adjusted to it.
We had a family with multiple vegans, a vegetarian and a meat eater and the cooking was super inconvenient. Also because of the separate pots and pans. But at some point everyone just got used to it.
Sounds pretty inconsiderate of the meat eater to force the rest to handle corpses instead of just eat their meal
My wife’s Catholic, but apparently that means something different in the Philippines. More vague than dogmatic, I guess? In any case, her religion is nothing like the religion I know from America.
For example, she doesn’t know the first thing about the Bible, not even the standard Sunday school stuff. Nothing. Yes, I’m sure I’ll get comments that Christians don’t read the Bible, but her ignorance is astonishing. A comedian told a Bible joke and she clearly didn’t get it. "You know! It’s the story of ‘I forget’. Blank stare.
She doesn’t let it rule her life in any way. No church, rituals or confession either. We got married in a church, but that wasn’t important to her in the slightest. I wanted to marry there because it’s a quaint little place from the 1920s that was moved to my favorite outfitters (camping, kayaking, cabins, hiking, etc.) land.
She’s definitely prone to magical thinking, but not the “Jesus will make it all good.” sort. More like, “Your car’s AC is clearly failing.” “It’s OK. It was cold a few minutes ago.” Call it positivity in the extreme.
She has a rosary on the rear view window. Often grabs it and does the stations of the cross when nervous. (Which is kinda hilarious, but I don’t laugh.) Found a fairly nice crucifix in the trash and gave it to her. She was thrilled and hung it by her side of the bed. Whatever.
Now that I think on it, I should get her a really nice rosary from Christmas.
Oh, a lot of Filipinos can be quite cultural in their Catholicism.
As far as my own experience goes, catechism in Philippine public schools is more of a guy from the nearby church gives a series of weekly lectures that students don’t really pay attention to in order to have their first communion. And then after confirmation is treated more of a rite of passage than anything. Even my peers from Catholic schools aren’t that much better either, but they do have allotted time for religious teaching (or indoctrination). As far as people I know are concerned, they don’t take it seriously either.
There is no such thing as a Sunday school here, at least nothing that I know of.
There might be some people really serious about their Catholicism, but they’re few and far between. For a lot of people, going to church is for the Christmas eve mass (on night of the 24th of December), and maybe the Easter day mass, and sometimes even for their birthday (which is basically: go to church and pray for a bit, light a candle, etc.) However, going to church every Sunday is not something a lot of people do. And even when they do, not a lot pay attention to the homily and most just go through the ceremony and motions.
However, we can be pretty wild with our devotions: the Black Nazarene being the most well-known. Thousands of people flock to its yearly procession. And then there’s the infamous vows of being crucified during the yearly Lenten reenactment of Christ’s crucifixion in certain town and localities.
And then there’s our love of religious paraphenalia. Lots of Filipino homes have an altar with figures of their preferred saint alongside the icon or statue of the virgin Mary, Sacred Heart of Jesus and/or Jesus on the cross. This altar also has a candle (unlit, for safety, but sometimes lit for a few hours on certain days). This is also where some novena booklets, rosaries, and other blessed (as in sanctified by a priest in a special prayer at the end of novena masses) religious paraphernalia are placed.
Despite this outward show of religion, we barely know anything of it. Whatever little we may know of our religion mostly comes to us via whatever our parents teach us, if at all, or that scant cathecism given to us before our first communion. It’s no wonder then, that most of us don’t have any idea what our religion requires us to believe, or whatever the bible says. The bible might sometimes be part of the family altar, but often, it’s just there to gather dust.
Just a disclaimer though, while I count myself among the people I described, I later on became agnostic. However, only my partner (who is more of a Reddit atheist, btw) knows that.
WOW! I’ll have my wife give your comment a read. Sounds about exactly as I had imagined her religious background.
And again, for those not in the US, religion is a very different animal halfway around the planet.
