Reform: for the overtly racist voter who only cares about immigration
Tory: for the wealthy/self-employed/homeowning/farming/tabloid-reading/all-of-the-above voter who only cares about low taxes
Labour: for the wealthy/lib/socdem/tabloid-reading voter who only cares about having a ‘sensible’ prime minister
all are transphobic by default.

about time.
wonder if it’ll be a kind of yugoslav non-aligned movement type scenario

In the event of my death, I’ve ordered my minions to fight for me for a year, potentially longer, so that my legacy may be stained with spiteful blood.
The orders have already been given and therefore can’t be taken back - per the No-Takesies-Backsies clause of the constitution, of course.

I’m not a big horror fan but I enjoyed it - there were so many good, comedic moments like when Nikki pulls the face when they’re playing the jenga game

I got one of those blackout shades that is black on the inside and reflective on the outside for my bedroom skylight - it’s made a surprisingly big difference.
I went from waking up burning alive because my bed had reached 50-odd degrees, to being only fairly warm at around 25
edit: this was a bad idea - make sure you put your reflective sheet on the outside of the window or else experience thermal stress cracks

Whenever biohackers come up in the news, I’m reminded of Aaron Traywick - one of those life extension berks who injected himself with mystery fluids. I saw him on the news once and thought “he’ll probably be dead soon.”
Within a year he ended up K-holing to death in a sensory deprivation tank

If an elected official in the US did come out and say “yea, I’m a Marxist, fuck you gonna do about it”, wouldn’t there be red scare-era mechanisms in place to remove such officials and have them sent to Gitmo?

every marketing genius and journalist who insisted on calling chatbots "AI’ will be first against the wall when the revolution comes.
if we ever do develop artificial intelligence, what are they gonna call it, “AI 2.0”, “AI (For Real This Time)”, or, “AI no no no no no wait wait wait wait! So, it’s like a computer brain that actually computes, not a glorified parrot!”?

It’s a bit of a fantasy for leftists to have guns - if there were ever a leftward surge across the US (lol), that’s when you’d suddenly see how quickly the government can enact stringent gun controls.
The main reason why civilian-owned guns are so widespread is because said civilians are indoctrinated rubes who pose no real threat to capital; that, and so the arms industry has an additional revenue stream - one they’d give up if people were using their guns to form armed soviets

At school when MW2 was popular, I used to call it COD4:2

a job that requires you to speak on the radio for hours a day
gamers
the aviation world isn’t ready for the amount of n-bombs

i have dreams where i have more dogs than i actually do, or where they’ve run away
i’ve also been having dreams where i’m a footballer and i can only say “obrigado” to my portuguese teammates because it’s the only portuguese word i know

broke: going into space and experiencing the overview effect
woke: going into space and experiencing the irresistible urge to devour all the territory for the glory of the evil empire

he was always flying around to different planets salvaging or stealing stuff to sell; maybe he primarily spoke Spacesperanto

Groucho Marxist

Oh man, this is up there with Dan Crenshaw’s “self-inflicted cumshot wound”

For a country whose average elevation is almost identical to the Netherlands, you’d think they’d be more serious about climate change.
After all, the shareholders stand to lose out when millions of hectares of real estate start being swallowed up by big blue

P.S. very good write-up comrade; I enjoyed many a hearty chuckle

Been seeing voxpop clips of reform voters - they have no idea what they’re actually voting for 100% of the time, and have circled around reform like flies on shit simply because they’ve been led to believe that this tiny isle is just too small for all the immigrants.
Doesn’t matter that we are a net-import economy that would depend either on degrowth (muh treets!) or increasing immigration, building more houses and actually bothering to integrate immigrant communities

that the nazis in the diary were upset that they were being kept awake at night by the cries of starving Jewish children

I read about the Einsatzgruppen - first wave mass-murder squads that the nazis deployed as they pushed east & west, often rounding up anyone deemed undesirable in any village they came across and shooting them in a field.
This system of serial extermination was found to be inefficient, due to the fact that the goons doing it were getting traumatised by having to personally execute thousands of people. It’s part of what led to the gas chambers - a method of killing removed enough from personal involvement that nobody feels (as much) guilt.
Impersonal, remote airstrikes - especially via drones - are a normalised modern day incarnation of the same idea.

any time someone promotes manufacturing consent on social media i feel obliged to comment “the poor man’s inventing reality”