Oh mine is very simple and not much to ask at all: I just want pure, unlimited, godlike omnipotence.
I promise to use it in every irresponsible way imaginable.
Hmm, reminds of this part of the Narcissistic Personality Inventory
At least you would be using it. (Ahem)
Objectively the correct answer.
Excellent!
We allready have one Stephen Fry
You would definitely enjoy Preacher. Graphic novels are great, show is better than ok.
Guy ends up gaining “the word of God” as an ability
Be able to do stuff, at will.
I’m dying of laughter. God lol.
Sounds op af
My farts would make people happy
!adhd@lemmy.dbzer0.com is leaking again
Bend probability to my will.
Example: Jump out of a plane (see a bowl of petunias and a sperm whale on the way down), bend probability so that against all odds; I start to fly.
Is there a monkey’s paw clause in this? Does probability snap back like an elastic on the things you aren’t focusing on?
Well, a high probability doesn’t mean it will happen, and a low probability doesn’t mean it won’t.
(A tossed coin that shows head the first 5 times and after that it always shows up tails still has a probability of 0% head and 100% tails, assuming you don’t know which coin toss this is.)
Your rational and completely correct refutation to my monkey’s paw has foiled me this time, but I’ll be back. Muwahahaha!!
There’s definitely an inherent paw clause to this power…unintended consequences galore!
Probability has more than one side, bend it one way and its also being bent away from another.
I would choose this too. Probability that I’ll win lottery next week would be nice to adjust. Also probability of getting sick/staying alive. And as I’m (allegedly) slowly getting older: Probability that I’ll wake up tomorrow well rested in a good shape and nothing hurts.
To never have to worry about the basic necessities of life 🥹
I have two choices depending on my role in the narrative.
1: unrestricted ability to grant other people powers with the requirement that I keep them balanced both in power scale and moral direct as well as not being able to use the powers on myself either on my own or through proxy.
2: I’m the Thing from Carpenter’s 1982 movie The Thing but every cell is me and under my control. If need be, I can consume an injury’s worth of biological mass to heal. I would mostly use this to get out of conversions by bisecting my face and spagetti-ing before returning to normal, apologizing for that, and saying I should go take my meds.
For number one, you might enjoy the excellent, then subsequently boring, show Misfits.
Actually yes, I watched ever episode as they aired until they killed Curtis. At that point I wasn’t invested enough in the new characters to keep watching.
I went a bit further than that and you didn’t miss much.
that is a good description.
My answer to this question is always teleportation, including my clothes and anyone I’m touching (and their clothes). And the ability to not appear inside solid objects. No more traffic. No more passports or visas. No more long multi-hour drives or long haul flights.
Have fun figuring out the point of reference of your new powers. It would be hillarious if it was not the nearest grvitational well. Earth moves, the sun moves, our galaxy moves. Watch it be not the most obvious thing, and you teleport into empty space.
…and that always comes up as a response. Ok fine, I’ll add another line to the fine print: The ability to teleport at the exact place I want to be. If you want to counter that still, then make it places I’ve been to before. It will limit my destinations, but it still saves me time and effort. I’ve never been to France, but I’ve been to Germany, so that still reduces my travel from almost a day of flying and layovers to a train ride.
Place you want to be is a better caveat. Places you have been before is counterable with the original argument since when you account for space on a universal level every Place is a new place
Dude! Think bigger. Alien worlds.
This flaw in teleportation logic hinges on the assumption that there is an absolute reference frame- which as far as I’m aware there isn’t. There is real science behind teleportation, and from what I’ve seen the frame of reference of the origin is what determines the endpoint. If you COULD manipulate the frame of reference as well, you could teleport a small rock an inch forward, but with the frame of reference of a near lightspeed object to create a crazy projectile.
Basically, you’d still need to follow the rules of conservation of momentum and energy, or it could be broken.
Ending all conflicts in the world with one command
What’s the command?
“Can you fucking not?”
Not what? Not breathe, not wash, not argue, not kill?
For context, I play Dungeons and Dragons and there is a spell called command where you get to use a single word as a comand and if the spell succeeds the target does exactly that. The fun is that the player makes up the command, but the DM interprets it. What was intended is not always what happens and it’s a lot of fun.
I wanna teleport things. I’ll use this to make money, among other things.
Jumper was fun.
Yeah, anytime anybody asks this question that’s my first thought. Either that or like Shadowcat and the ability to phase through things. 
The movie wasn’t half as good as the book, imo, except for the car scene.
Incredible!
The power to instantly, constantly, automatically, and effortlessly transmute the bone marrow of every single individual on Earth who is being harmful to humanity’s progress and wellbeing (fascists, billionaires, global warming denialists, mimes, and so on) into molten lead.
Super Siri that can answer any questions.
“How do I build a time machine?”
“Is there any hidden treasure around here?”
“How do I make myself immortal?”
Really close to mine: reach into my pocket and pull out whatever I want to. Time machine? Treasure? Functional immortality tied to my intent to live pill? Pants with a huge pocket so I can pull out this big thing that wouldn’t fit in my normal pocket?
I enjoy the fact that at least one person was so offended by my idea that they had to downvote me.
Egotistical maniac that I am, I like to think they were enraged that I came up with the idea before them.
Or that they hate Apple so much that the mention of any of their products sends them into a blind rage.
But as to your comment. Wouldn’t you get burns from all the pizzas in your pocket? And wouldn’t Hackers - era Angelina Jolie suffocate in there?
Probably just"big tech bad" brain-chip knee-jerk reaction
oooh. like the magic talent from the guy in xanth who answers any question for one year of service. not bad. doesn’t make impossible things come to be though so many of the answers to your questions could end up being you can’t.
Never read the Xanth books. Might give them a try.
Try “City of Last Chances” by Adrian Tchaikovski. Guy carries a box full of weak god around, doing very small miracles…
before you read xanth realize its anthonies silly series especially as it goes on. Its a magical land full of puns and most of his books are like soft core fantasy porn very similar to typical anime.
Yeah, now I remember. I think I picked up one long ago.
I want time travel like a video game or Git handles it. I want to be able to save and load timelines.
Being able to stop time. Unlimited sleep.
Make sure to add that you don’t age or need food/water/oxygen while time is stopped, otherwise this is more of a curse
Right. That’d be a nice bonus.
Cashback was a good take on this.
Telepathy.
I really want to know the truth of what people think of me. Especially these “blood relatives”.
I bet you you don’t.
Sounds very psychosis inducing.
this. telepathy seems like it would be great but opens a can of worms.
Why do you care, and what would you do with that information?
Understanding them better to make better informed decisions on whether to rebuild relationships or just burn bridges.
Imagine knowing every time the person who cared for you most in the world almost slipped up because they were exasperated with you. And there’s no real way to know when it’s a bad time to read their mind, if it isn’t always on. I think it would be hard to be really close to anyone if you could read their mind and they couldn’t stop you.
I already have trust issues, I automatically distrusts everyone and assume they have a hidden malicious motive. Knowing addition info would be an advantage.
I’m even suspecting my “parents” are not my parents, that’s how fucked up my thought process is. Having mindreading powers would help a lot, I could just ask a question then I know if they are telling the truth.
I have no one to trust right now. Just gimme this power.
I wish you had the power to know who to trust. I wish i had that, too.
My farts are now filled with ultra potent sex pheromones. My farts are usually quiet, and usually no one notices them. Time to reap the wind!
My farts are usually quiet, and usually no one notices them
Famous last words
ouch. that sounds like either a great or awful death.
I hadn’t thought about that. No ability to really control it, there’d be a lot of women after me.
At least I’d go with a smile on my face. Well maybe…
In order of preference:
- Immortality
- Shapeshifting
- The ability to look at something and immediately know what it is and what it’s worth (would make flea market and thrift store visits a lot more efficient)
Immortality is such a mixed bag depending on the exact mechanics behind it.
You simply won’t die of old age, but can be killed by anything that would kill a normal person? Probably fine.
Almost any other interpretation opens the doors for some absolutely horrific states of being that you’re just unable to escape from.
