Feels like, because of the way that media and culture is experienced in the modern day, I find myself looking for certain “types” of people. That’s not to say I’m ignoring people’s individuality or reducing them to caricatures, but there’s definitely certain grooves that people fall into. Crypto guy is a type of guy, for example. They’re not all the same, but they’ve got some very distinct and shared characteristics. I think, though, that some of these “types” of people are completely made up and do not exist in a substantial way. Most often, I think that these false typings come from sexual fantasy, objectification, and even a form of commodity fetishism. I think this is a huge part of online culture. It ranges from the “___ gf” kind of images to the starter pack meme format to whatever else you might find. Then there’s the middle ground. My best example of that would be the idea of the egirl. There’s definitely some people who could be categorized as authentic practitioners who simply are that way, but are generally exploded out of proportion because you can literally make a career being a content creator with that sort of persona and that sort of content gets plastered everywhere.
That’s the normal level of unhealthy internet culture you’d expect, but I find myself struggling to differentiate between reality and the fiction of the internet. I might say a certain type of person is blown out of proportion by media and aren’t that common since I never encounter them in my real life, but that logic doesn’t hold any better than the idea that asian people are mostly fake because I haven’t met very many. This starts being an issue when it shapes my expectations of people around me. “I wish I knew more people who had this kind of vibe. Wait, is that a real type of person? Is it just shallow bullshit I’m looking for for aesthetic reasons? Do people actually act like that? Do they really act/think like that, or are they just as internet poisoned as I am? Are there secretly lots of hot goth girls in New York but not Salt Lake City? Is that why the real estate is so expensive, or is it the other way around?” It really makes me feel like I am losing touch with reality in a way that is maybe not healthy, especially when it comes to looking for a partner. Often feels rather misogynistic in a way I can’t put my finger on, too.
TL;DR how do you all differentiate between actual types of people and vague collections of biases?
Edit: I don’t know why I worded this so poorly, but the notion I was looking for was a subculture. I think there are subcultures that are, to varying degrees, inorganic and overrepresented, but there is no way to have empirical data about the representation of such a vague notion of a subculture.
how do you all differentiate between actual types of people and vague collections of biases?
Not to be that guy but something something dialectical materialism
How do you guys keep your expectations of people (generally, not specifically) in check?
Easy, I don’t have any.
Sonder, and the realization that everybody has more or less the same goal (to be happy), but such a wide variation in how they personally are going to achieve that goal that they can’t be grouped together as a monolith. For any group of people that you might have preconceived biases about, there are generally so many exceptions to that bias that it falls apart almost immediately when you actually take a look at what makes you assume things about that group.
The internet will encourage you to reinforce your biases because it saves you time, but it isn’t a real place. Everyone is pretending to be something they aren’t, so it isn’t a great place to learn about demographics. It’s a fun place to learn about ideas, but like with anywhere else, you still need to think critically of those ideas before you accept them as fact.
Thank you for “sonder;” I previously only knew sonder as the sort of middle-ground hotel/airbnb company. Now that I know the meaning of the word, I was somewhat recently in a situation where I had weed in a city but the only safe place to smoke it was where I purchased it, so I went way beyond my normal intake and smoked a joint of high-grade stuff to myself. On the way back to my hotel, walking through a dense cloud of people, I expected to get the paranoia and want to retreat even faster but instead got the sonder epiphany and just stood still in the town square for I don’t know how long. If you had asked me about the concept of sonder the day before, I would have said that I agree with the idea, of course. Feeling it, though, is so different. I heard Bjork’s Anchor Song in my head and was stunned when she got to “this is where I’m staying/this is my home;” I hadn’t consciously selected it for that message but there it was. The city is still very high, so to speak, on my list of places to settle down but I realize that I’ll have to go back to separate my feelings for the city from the whole-joint-to-the-face.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Yeah I really don’t think it’s productive to try and “type” actual real people you meet. It’s kind of pointless and reductive. People aren’t just “types of guys” or w/e and acting like they are and then struggling to find the right category for everyone sounds like a miserable way to relate to human beings.
People’s personalities are shaped by the media they consume so there are individuals that are a certain type that are out there but to a lesser degree, and depending on where you are they will cluster in communities. The white Mormon for example might be overrepresented in Salt Lake City
Generally bigger metro areas on the coasts will be more communties and therefore more diverse types of characters and it will be easier to seek them out.
In short yes people are out there but your community is lacking in diversity
I think the reality is that people are dynamic, and you’re not always going to like everything about them (and vice versa they won’t always like everything about you). For me it’s boundaries and what I call “hard no’s” (which unfortunately has been things like vaccination status and masking for me personally in recent years but that will, again, vary by the individual) that determine if I’m gonna vibe with someone or not. Boundaries are very important because they’re equal to respect. You can have friends that you only share specific hobbies with, what matters is that neither party is trying to change the other to suit their needs, and that it’s a safe space when they’re together. Ask yourself if you are the kind of person who can make space for others no matter their differences. As long as a mutual respect, kindness, and emotional maturity is present with all parties you’re gonna find it easier to be with others without categorizing them or yourself. People are not personas, they’re messy, beautiful, flawed survivors in a crazy world.
uh i guess i just kinda talk to them and see if we get along/have similar values?
The best way to locate and mingle with people of a certain lifestyle is to adopt that lifestyle. No one likes a tourist.
deleted by creator
In general, it helps to not be a raging narcissist that views others as “types of people”.
God, I hate .ee
