I’m about to start my 12 week paternity leave next week thanks to a state program and almost everyone that I’ve told has had their jaws on the floor that I would even want to do that.
Today I witnessed a group of coworkers almost bragging how little time they took after their kids were born. I’ve heard stuff like “Most men are hard working and want to support their families so they don’t take leave”.
To me it was a no brainer, I’m getting ~85% of my normal pay and I get to take care of my wife, our son and our newborn for 3 whole months. and for someone who hasn’t taken a day breathe in the past 3 years I think I deserve it.
I’m in the US so I know it’s a “strange” concept, but people have seemed genuinely upset, people it doesn’t affect at all. Again, it’s a state program available to almost anyone who’s worked in the past 2 years, I’ve talked to soon to be dads who scoffed at the idea and were happy to use a week of pto and that’s it.
I feel like I’m missing something.
Men who brag how little time they spend with their kids shouldn’t be having kids.
My company offers parental leave (generic, not gender-specific, and applies to adoptions as well as giving birth). Everyone I work with expects people—men included—to take it.
A guy on my team took his a couple years ago and now with his second child recently born, he is applying his lesson learned. Instead of taking the time as soon as his kid is born, overlapping time off with his wife, he’s letting his wife take her full time then he’s taking his. That way they stagger the full-time care of the newborn for about 6 months straight, after which his wife will be done teaching for the summer, meaning more like 8 months straight.
Another coworker (Director level) had his latest kid December before last. Our busy time is January to April, so he delayed and took his time off in May or June.
Fuck companies that don’t support it and the small-minded people who think men shouldn’t take it. I can understand how challenging it can be for a small business to support that kind of leave, but as humans we should care more about supporting the next generation than a couple hits to productivity at work for 2-3 months. (I write as a permanently child-free person.)
What you’re missing is that the people you work with are stuck in the mindset from 2 generations ago. Don’t buy in. Taking your leave IS supporting your family; you’re doing it right.
People who brag about going to work deserve to die at their desks. Godspeed taking care of your newborn and your spouse.
Those 12 weeks will be no walk in the park. You rightfully state you’ll be taking care of everyone, and it’s 24/7 juggling new dynamics and a whole new human being’s needs.
Yes, people survive with less time or no time off at all. I’m convinced some brag about it like some badge of honor to make themselves feel better.
Thank you for being considerate of your family’s needs. Good luck!
People are idiots. Why would you give up a benefit you’re legally entitled to? Nobody is going to as much as thank you for that.
My manager is on paternaty leave for half a year, it is normal here, he is a dad after all!
Sounds like attitude of wage slaves that have been brainwashed into doing everything for the corpos and being fine with getting scrap. They live to work as opposed to work to live.
Can’t change the slave mentality of some people. They were just born to be one.
I’m not a psychologist or whatever to say how long but the dad should get as much leave as the mother does to help deal with all the new baby shit and bond with the child.
You should take all the time you can get. Fuck other people’s expectations.
When I’m on my deathbed, I’m absolutely sure I won’t be thinking about work.
The traditional view that the father needs to work is strong. In Denmark we have had the opportunity to share the maternity/paternity leave between parents for several years, but most often the mother would take the majority, with only 2 weeks being specific for the father.
This is due to the imbalance in pay, since the cut in pay would be larger for a man (generally), so men voluntarily gave the leave to their wives. This is obviously not the intention of the leave and also based on the flaw of unequal pay. Keep in mind that the wage difference is often explained as being caused by the mother taking more leave and thereby not advancing her career during the years when they have small children.
So, to fix his, the latest law make more weeks untransferable. The father now has 11 weeks that can not be transferred. Use it or lose it.
One would expect such a removal of flexibility to make people upset, because technically it will cost the families more potential income, but it hasn’t.
It turns out that most men actually wanted the additional weeks of paternity leave. They just needed it to be normalized and/or the legal framework to demand it, so they don’t have to have this discussion with their employers or wives. No man is ever asked why they’re taking it now. Use it or lose it makes sense to everyone.
In addition we still have 26 (13+13) weeks that can be transferred however the parents want. Still very flexible.
Shared still incentivizes women to be taking it regardless of income. Breast feeding is a lot of goddamn work and is far far far superior for newborns with no antibodies. But newborns no matter how you slice it are a ton of goddamn work. Particularly true in the early postpartum weeks when pumping just isn’t going to get consistent results.
Come to the EU, noone will scoff at paternity leave here. On the contrary, colleagues will congratulate you for procreating lol
Noone is a jerk if he scoffs at paternity leave. No one even likes that guy.
